by Garret Ean
May 30 2013
We’re only three episodes into the hottest new weekly variety series on Cheshire TV’s local access channel 8, and already AKPF #1 has received a scathing denunciation from the anonymous editorial board of the Keene Sentinel! AKPF is allegedly tied to the devious Robin Hooding ‘campaign’, and the nameless author alleges all sorts of terrifyingly vague safety concerns that may come about as a result of filling meters. First sensationalizing the material, the author attempts to marginalize the Robin Hooding footage selected by referring to it as ‘mundane’. Clearly, they have not watched much of the hundreds of hours of footage at Fr33manTVraw if they think that a riveting discussion that myself and James Cleaveland had with parking enforcer Jane exemplifies mundane footage.
Before the conclusion of the editorial, there’s a video cited which, based on facts referenced, likely is this months-old video, which was produced by Chris Cantwell, a comedian from New York who is not affiliated with Robin Hood of Keene nor is named in the lawsuit. Though it would not take much investigating on the part of the Slantinel, it was apparently too much work to figure out the names of the individuals they make broad allegations against, not so much alleging crime as they are “childish behavior playing out in the streets”. Despite a functioning website, and presence on the internet for several years, the Slantinel also fails to link to the video they absorbed so much knowledge from. It is almost as though they would rather you just take their word for it.
The Slantinel and the city of Keene have a developed symbiotic monopoly. The Slantinel acts as the mouthpiece of city nobility, and in return they get the inside access they have come to expect. It’s fortunate that they’re at least forthright with their bias — the only person they have ever sought comment from regarding Robin Hooding is Ian Freeman, in an article from April, prior to the lawsuit for which we are all now famous. Meanwhile, Prince John is given unabridged editorial abilities.
No matter to what extent the Sentinel dedicates its resources to defending the throne, this much is certain: the Keene Sentinel and its obsolete paper model represents the way of old; where AKPF #1 represents the new. Experience the new way from the beginning by watching all prior riveting AKPF #1 episodes via the AquaKeene channel on youtube. The freshest episodes premiere at midnight Monday mornings on the internet, and at 7pm later in the day on Cheshire TV.